My Shot at Love

After my last attempt at being on a VH1 reality show, I vowed to myself I would never try out for one again; then I got that e-mail.
     I periodically receive e-mails from Iconic Casting because I am on their mailing list and I always read them but hardly pay attention to the content. That’s when it happened.
     About three weeks ago, I opened up my e-mail and scrolled down and the last show on the list was coming to VH1 involving competing for the love of Chad Ochocinco, the star wide-receiver of the Cincinnati Bengals. Everyone who knows me knows that I have the biggest crush on Ochocinco. I follow him on Twitter, always tell people about the application he has for the iPhone, and he was the wallpaper on my phone throughout this past football season. It’s just fate.
     About three hours before I found out about the show, I told our editor that I was going to write a review on Ochocinco’s book for the next issue of the Pirates Log. I took it as a sign that my attempt to be on a reality show wasn’t over just yet; I would compete for his love even if it wasn’t going to be on TV.
     So I applied. The day after Easter a girl from the casting company called me for an interview in Los Angeles. What was I doing when she called, you ask? I was sitting on the couch reading Ochocinco’s book; as if there weren’t enough signs already.
     The working title for the VH1 show is “The Tournament.” It will start with 85 girls (85 is Chad’s number hence the name Ochocinco), get narrowed down to 16, and then be set up football style with four conferences of four girls each competing for the heart of Chad Ochocinco.
     The application I had to fill out and take to the interview with me was hilarious and filled with questions like, “How are you going to make Chad a one-woman man,” and “Have you ever been in a ‘catfight?’’
     I filled out the application as part of the routine but didn’t give it much thought because I knew it was all about what I would be like in person. Off to LA I went. I knew I was going to be nervous in my interview so I chugged a Sparks before I went inside to try and calm my nerves.
     I wrote ‘Child, please,’ the expression Ochocinco uses frequently, on the palm of my hand with a black sharpie as part of a message I wanted to give him.
     “Are you a jealous person? How do you get along with other girls? How are you going to deal with Chad being around other women?”
     It all happened so fast I can’t even remember what I said but Paul, the casting guy, asked me what I had on my hand and why I had it there so I said,
     “Ocho, if you don’t pick me, you’re gonna get a big ‘Child please!’ And if you do pick me, I’m gonna do a special end-zone celebration dance for you!”
     Paul asked if he could see the dance and I said not until Ocho picks me so then he asked if he could see any dancing at all. I did the running man; my specialty.
     After the camera was off, Paul told me he really liked me and thought I was funny. I am pretty funny. I mean, I did the running man. Hopefully it was enough to make me a finalist for the show.

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