Note: due to broadcasting, this column was written before the broadcast of Round 2.
Tiger this, Tiger that. Tiger shot his lowest first round ever. Tiger made two eagles. Tiger didn't get booed. Tiger got cheered. Tiger played a practice round. Tiger had eggs yesterday morning. Tiger went to the cleaners to get his red shirt. Tiger pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Tiger is the new King of Norway. Tiger, Tiger, Tiger. After the first round of the Masters I have to be honest, Tiger Woods is the last golfer I care about.
No, not because he was dishonest in his relationship with his wife. Not because he throws temper tantrums that sometimes mimic my 3 year old cousin. Not because he's so damn good that it is easy to hate him (e.g. The Yankees, or more currently Duke University). Not because he can make every shot on a golf course that I cannot...
Well, I do hate him for that, but I am one of a million in that category. I don't care about Woods because of three men on the top of the leader board: Y.E. Yang, Fred Couples and Tom Watson.
NOTE: For the purposes of this column, the author will address Tiger Woods as "That Golfer"...(Wow, I referred to myself as the author... need couch time.)
Y.E. Yang remains the only player to chase down "That Golfer" in a major championship when “That Golfer” has held the lead going into the final day (2009 PGA Championship). While this should exempt him from "fluke" status, the name Y.E. Yang hasn't graced a PGA winner's circle since. Yang now sits tied for second with an excellent shot to be a forethought when the weekend comes around. If he can earn a Master's green jacket to go along with a PGA Championship title, he would have two straight major championships also inadvertently stopping "That Golfer" each time, erasing all doubt of Yang being a "fluke" at all.
The most surprising storyline of the entire tournament has to be 50-year-old Fred Couples shooting six under and securing the first day lead. Couples, past his prime and going through major back issues, has won three straight Champions Tour events and hasn't placed worse than second in his last four events.
A Master’s winner in 1992, his only major, Couples would like to add one more major title to his belt to complement his 49 PGA Tour wins.
I like Freddy. The guy is so calm on the golf course. So calm in fact, that he is wearing no socks, and golf shoes with no spikes! The guy is amazing. Leading one of the toughest major's with no socks or spikes... OK I may have tried to make something relevant that wasn't and for that, I am sorry (Oh no, this is starting to sound like a press conference from "That Golfer". No questions please...). But I'm pulling for Freddy. You just don't get many more opportunities to take down major championships when you lose the distance in your game.
I am pulling for Couples really... BUT (you knew that was coming) not as much as for the man 10 years Couples senior, Tom Watson. At 60-years-young, Watson sits five under and tied for second. Watson stole the golfing world's heart (and broke them simultaneously) last year when he nearly became the oldest man to win a major championship, The British Open.
It was brilliant: An old man who everyone thought was going to drift down the leader board every day, but he didn't. Until the 18th green on the final day, where he blew his shot over the green, then three putted to bring himself into a three hole playoff with the eventual champion, Stewart Cink (To put things in perspective on how bad Watson lost: He was only ahead by one stroke on the final green. When Cink drilled his final putt, Watson was six strokes back).
After we just had a great underdog story with the Butler University Bulldog's playing in the NCAA Tournament, we can all get on this underdog bandwagon. You don't even have to like golf to enjoy a guy like Watson. He is the consummate professional who has never stepped on anyone’s fingers, and is loved by players and fans alike.
Whats the whole point? GET OFF "THAT GOLFER'S" BANDWAGON. Look, I am as happy as anyone that he is back. "That Golfer" is going to be the greatest of all time when his career is said and done. But we just got off four months of "That Golfer" being shoved down our throats on every news network from here to China, and for all the wrong reasons.
I might not be so inclined to edit out "That Golfer's" name every time I write it, if I was hearing about his long game (no jokes please), his short game (once again no jokes) or his putting (if you can make a joke out of that, it may be time to leave middle school).
Let's just play blissfully ignorant and forget about the Escalade-Into-a-tree incident, the 14 women, the on-again-off-again divorce, the rehabilitation (for what, we still do not know concretely), the paternity claims, the text messages, voice mails and the connection to Canadian sports medicine specialist Dr. Anthony Galea who is currently under investigation by the FBI for the sale of performance enhancing drugs...wait a minute... back up.
I still can't believe people are not talking about this more. We crucify baseball players as soon as the name steroids is mentioned with their name, but "That Golfer" seems to skate by. It's ridiculous. We marched Mark Mcguire, Rafael Palmero, Sammy Sosa and other MLB players to testify in front The Grand Jury. Is it too much to ask that maybe you send some Federal Investigators to question "That Golfer"? It appears so.
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