A hitch in the trailer

Hello Hollywood! This week as you can tell we saw The Men who Stare at Goats and once again you have irritated me. You see Tinseltown, I was expecting a gut busting 90 minutes that told a great anecdotal story. What I got was a slightly depressing new age drama that would have been enjoyed better being hopped up on drugs with a bad case of the munchies. The reason I expected tons of laughter? The trailer. It was great. It sold me on seeing your film, which was a mistake. Hollywood, it’s time for me to remind you what trailers are really about.
Here’s the issue. When you put all of your best material in the trailer, like you did with Goats, you get a large audience who wants to see it the first weekend. But once they realize what the film is about and it isn’t what they expected they’ll head home or to their favorite hangout, hop on their webphones or snazzy mini laptops and tell all their friends just how the film wasn’t what the trailer said it was. How is this bad for you, you ask?
For one, you will not get any repeat viewers of the film in question, which is an ideal source of revenue for you. Second, DVD sales will be very lackluster dooming said disc to the 99 cent rack at the dollar store. Finally, you have doomed the film to such obscurity that not even the backwater independent networks will play it as their midnight movie. I don’t really have to tell you that this is a bad thing.
Tell you what Tinseltown. I’ll be nice this week and help you fix this issue in a few quick and easy steps so that you can get back on track to what is important to you: Getting our butts firmly planted in seats.
As I have told you before, research out your past. The early film trailers were a success due to the fact they didn’t reveal everything about the film, they just sparked your interest enough to go see it. Try this method once again and you’ll find it still works. With the help of the internet you can test these new teaser short trailers on a mass populated market to see what will be successful in theaters, saving the full trailer for premiere on the big screen. Now, the simplest fix of all. Don’t tell us what the whole film is in 3 minutes, and for movie lovers, don’t spoil your own film by using every gut-busting gag or awe inspiring action sequence That way, we the ticket purchasing can make the best decision about your newest films and you can use your new trailers without a hitch.
I’m Levi Ridgway, that was your Reel Rant of the week, now roll the credits.

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