Recently a friend of mine went through a very hard breakup with his now ex Debbie coming in and telling him “hey Brad, you know how I said I Loved You? WELL I FAKED IT!” Later over much coffee, booze, and grease burgers he sat there sobbing “why isn’t romance like it is in the movies” which irritated me to the point of wanting to throw my burger at him, but I can’t do that since he just got dumped and I’d just miss my target anyways. I look at him, smile, and he knew what was coming. I state “you actually believe those nauseating, formulaic canned romance films Hollywood keeps coughing up like your Persian cat does hairballs? They’re not believable! They’re more fake than Cher’s face! No one has the boy meets girl, love happens, hijinx ensue, non makeup smearing tearfest where at the end they ride off in the sunset in a car labeled just married all within a convenient 90 minute time period. The dialogue is so sugary sweet that it would put a diabetic into shock. My life doesn’t come with a best of Barry White soundtrack either, does yours? Listen, Hollywood hasn’t a clue on real relationships. Take that new film Couples Retreat that I got suckered into seeing. It reminded me of American Pie for the over 40 crowd, and with less laughs.”
My point is this Hollywood. If you just would take a step back and show what real relationships are like you might just realize what they are really about. Relationships, including marriage, are something we work at in life much like making great film, and just like making great film a great partnership is required. A great producer is usually nothing without his counterpart being a great director to control what happens onscreen. A writer can turn into a hack if he doesn’t have a great editor to help with the rewriting process, and a great cast is nothing without a great crew to make them look good for all to see.
If you continue on your current path of romance films Hollywood, the only thing in the future I see you creating is more cans filled with broken hearts, unrealistic expectations, and more crappy three dollar DVD’s from Wal-Mart’s closeout bin. What this really means Hollywood, is that you need to work on your relationship with us, the paying audience. After all, you really wouldn’t want the public at large to run into your studios and theaters yelling “Remember when I said I Love You Tinseltown? WELL I FAKED IT!”
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